Okay, I’m gonna be honest. For the first twenty years of my career, I assumed that my job was to do whatever it was that I was doing—write the books and humor pieces, edit the magazines, teach the children well—as superbly and intensely as I could, and the natural brilliance of that work would handle the publicity for me. People looking for guys who could write books or humor pieces, edit magazines, and teach young writers, would put 2 + 2 together and give me a call.
After twenty years, I am officially declaring myself mistaken.
Though much of what I am best at (thinking about John Lennon, for example) is not much in demand, certain other skills that I have picked up by-the-way could potentially help other people. I’ve listed a few of these below.
Micro-publishing —Since 1995, I have been advising The Yale Record, America’s oldest college humor magazine. Under my care The Record has been transformed from a deeply indebted twice-yearly newsprint rag into a glossy monthly that racks up four-figure annual profits. At The Record, I’m rapidly succeeding myself out of a job, and I’d like to do the same for your student magazine–whether it already exists, or is just what you think of whenever you smoke certain strains of marijuana. Though the cost and distribution limitations of printed media make it unable to compete as a mass medium, books and magazines have a bright, very profitable future serving smaller affinity groups, especially in compressed environments. Plus, there’s ebooks. Drop me an email, and let’s see if I can help.
Self publishing—I am a reluctant self-publisher—in other words, a person who knows how difficult it is to make money publishing your own books. But I am also a very successful self-publisher: my primary self-pub venture sold several thousand copies within two months of its release, got international publicity, and was purchased by twenty publishing houses. I may not be able to help you sell 750,000 copies of your book, as I did, but I will teach you how to avoid the most common mistakes, retain your rights, and produce a finished product that equals any book produced by the big boys.
Editorial consulting—Writing is my first love, and what I’ve made most of my money doing. Editing is probably what I’m best at. If you’re a young writer who wants to know how to write funny—or if you’re a more seasoned person looking to punch up your work—I would be happy to consult with you at a rate that you can afford. If you’re a publisher looking to add humor into your editorial mix, or need somebody to create or run a section for you, give me a call. Back when I lived in New York, I consulted for Hearst, Marvel, Spy, National Lampoon, and a bunch of other places. My talents aren’t limited to print; I am the world’s only expert on humor magazines, and the web is crying out for its very own MAD, Hayes-era Esquire, National Lampoon, or Spy.
Interested parties should drop me an email at mikesnewbooks[at]gmail[dot]com. I look forward to hearing from you!
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