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A state-run newspaper in China is reporting that the executive responsible for all those lead-tainted toys has killed himself. Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated piece of news, Karl Rove is leaving the White House…God, if he were only Chinese…

President Bush said, quote, “Karl’s moving on down the road.” God, I hate the folksy thing. It’s like Thurston Howell III pretending to be a Beverly Hillbilly. “I’m rich as hell, but you can’t hate me because I’m also inarticulate.” He’s like a corn-pone Nixon. “Sure, my background gave me opportunities you didn’t have. But don’t worry, I didn’t take advantage of them.”

Rove said, “I’m grateful to have been a witness to history.” Whatever you were, Karl, it wasn’t a witness. Witnesses can be called to testify.

“At month’s end,” Rove continued, “I will join those whom you meet in your travels”—what is he, President Appleseed?—“the ordinary Americans who tell you they are praying for you.”

At least that part is true—we are praying for President Bush. Because it’s obvious what happens when he’s on his own.