2007 July | mikegerber.com

Newsbreaks 7.31.07 (Hollywood pigeons)

31 July 2007

8751 Comment2007-07-31+20%3A22%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. Long plagued by piles of pigeon poop, the city of Hollywood has come up with a humane solution: it’s going to give the birds contraceptives. The plan is yet another slap in the face to the Bush Administration, which sponsored the current [...]

Newsbreaks 7.30.07 (Bergman’s death)

30 July 2007

8741 Comment2007-07-30+21%3A01%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. Film director Ingmar Bergman died today at the age of 89. Reportedly, his last words were, “Hey! No cheating!” Bergman influenced generations of directors, most notably Woody Allen, who described him as “the greatest film artist since the invention of the motion [...]

Newsbreaks 7.27.07 (Drunk astronauts)

27 July 2007

8733 Comments2007-07-27+21%3A37%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. NASA is reeling after a report yesterday that some of its astronauts have flown drunk. Well, maybe “reeling” isn’t the right word. How about “ashamed and remorseful”? NASA has a rule stipulating that there be at least 12-hours from “bottle to throttle.” [...]

Newsbreaks for Thursday (Oscar the Death Cat)

26 July 2007

8720 Comments2007-07-26+20%3A55%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. A cat in a Providence nursing home seems to be able to predict when someone is going to die. Twenty-five times now, Oscar has climbed into bed with someone, and within two hours, they’re dead. And people wonder why dogs are more [...]

Newsbreaks for Wednesday (Humboldt squids)

25 July 2007

8713 Comments2007-07-25+21%3A56%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. Oceanographers say that a large, carnivorous species of squid is invading Calfornia’s central coast. They don’t know why the Humboldt squids have appeared, but I think I do. They’re waiting for the next big earthquake. “Dude, trust me—it’ll be sweet.” Obviously, that’s [...]

Newsbreaks for Tuesday (Lohan’s DUI)

24 July 2007

8700 Comments2007-07-24+22%3A27%3A00Michael

For best viewing, allow the video to load completely. Audio version is here. As you probably know already, actress Lindsay Lohan has gotten another DUI. In other news, the sun came up. Apparently she was chasing her assistant through the streets of Santa Monica. Sorry, her ex-assistant. In Hollywood, if your drunk, coked-up boss is [...]

Newsbreaks for Monday (Radcliffe’s birthday)

23 July 2007

8691 Comment2007-07-23+23%3A35%3A00Michael

Audio version is here. Today is Daniel Radcliffe’s 18th birthday, which means he now has access to 40 million dollars. And, ten times that many sex partners. Earlier this year, Radcliffe made his stage debut playing a tortured teenager obsessed with horses in the famous play, “Harry Potter and the Tortured Teenager Obsessed with Horses.” [...]

Newsbreaks for Friday

20 July 2007

8680 CommentsNewsbreaks+for+Friday2007-07-20+21%3A23%3A00Michael

Audio version is here. This morning, the Bay Area was struck by a small earthquake. Well, I guess somebody didn’t like the way Harry Potter ended. The earthquake was minor—easy for me to say, right?—but officials for the US Geological Survey stuck up for it: “There are no small earthquakes,” they said. “Only small cities.” [...]

Newsbreaks for Thursday

19 July 2007

8671 CommentNewsbreaks+for+Thursday2007-07-19+20%3A39%3A00Michael

Audio version is here. Officials for the town of Brattleboro, Vermont, have passed a temporary ordinance banning public nudity. The law is an emergency measure following a recent rash of townspeople airing out their uglies. All I can say is, one person’s emergency is another person’s tourist attraction. I just wonder if my plane tickets [...]

Newsbreaks for Wednesday

18 July 2007

8664 CommentsNewsbreaks+for+Wednesday2007-07-18+19%3A55%3A00Michael

Audio version is here. Archeologists in Ventura, CA, have discovered a pair of 130-year-old outhouses. They’re calling it a treasure-trove. So far they’ve unearthed a pistol, a knife, whiskey flasks, two dog skulls, and a set of false teeth. All I can say is, if that’s “treasure,” you guys would make really bad pirates. Of [...]

mikegerber.com

Archive | July, 2007

Newsbreaks 7.31.07 (Hollywood pigeons)

Newsbreaks 7.30.07 (Bergman’s death)

Newsbreaks 7.27.07 (Drunk astronauts)

Newsbreaks for Thursday (Oscar the Death Cat)

Newsbreaks for Wednesday (Humboldt squids)

Newsbreaks for Tuesday (Lohan’s DUI)

Newsbreaks for Monday (Radcliffe’s birthday)

Newsbreaks for Friday

Newsbreaks for Thursday

Newsbreaks for Wednesday

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