Archive | June, 2007

Newsbreaks for Friday

30 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Thursday, a new collection of memorabilia from the doomed ship Titanic was auctioned at Christie’s. One of the rarest items was a survivor’s handwritten account of the disaster. [PIX] “It sucked.” That went for $8,400 per word. I’m clearly in the wrong business. Other items included postcards—[PIX] “Sorry if my handwriting’s [...]

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Newsbreaks for Thursday

28 June 2007

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Audio version is here. The bald eagle, once nearly extinct, has been taken off the endangered species list. As a result of the ruling, the eagle will now be known by its new name: “chicken.” “We think every American should be pleased by this news,” the White House said. “Now can everybody please shut up [...]

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Newsbreaks for Wednesday

27 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Variety reports that Hugh Hefner is set to be the subject of a new biopic. The movie will be called, “A Beautiful ‘Gine.” It’ll be directed by the guy responsible for X-Men: The Last Stand. Get ready for some really unique CGI. Hefner is a sort of sexual superhero. “Look! Up [...]

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Newsbreaks for Tuesday

27 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Every year here in California, the Marin-Sonoma County Fair holds a contest for the World’s Ugliest Dog. This seems pretty crazy, until you remember how much wine people must be drinking. Here’s this year’s winner. Honest to God, it looks like something you’d cover with underwear. He’s a 2-year-old mutt named [...]

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Newsbreaks for Monday

25 June 2007

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Audio version is here. A two-year-old from Britain has been admitted to Mensa. On her last IQ test, Georgia Brown racked up a score of 152, which means that, compared to the average person, she’s over 50% more annoying. The toddler’s score puts her in the same range as Stephen Hawking. That’s the good news. [...]

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Newsbreaks for Friday

22 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Yesterday, a 15-year-old in India successfully performed a C-section birth. The boy was trying to become the youngest surgeon ever—at least that’s what he told his parents. “But doctor, I thought we were doing a C-section?” “Be quiet and let me shave you.” The kid got more than he bargained for. [...]

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Newsbreaks for Thursday

21 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Naturalists report that a lake in Southern Chile has mysteriously disappeared. “We checked it in March,” said Juan Jose Romero of Chile’s National Forestry Corporation. But when Romero’s team went back in May, there was nothing there. “Then everybody started saying, ‘Juan took the lake!” “You totally did.” “I did not, [...]

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Newsbreaks für Wednesday

20 June 2007

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Audio version is here. A new hotel in Berlin aims to recreate the experience of living in Communist East Germany. “Of course all the rooms are bugged,” said the hotel’s owner, “but then again, you never have to call room service. “You just shout your order into the chandelier.” The rooms at The Ostel don’t [...]

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Newsbreaks for Tuesday

19 June 2007

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Audio version is here. Last week the staff of an Applebee’s restaurant here in California mistakenly served a two-year-old a margarita. The mother of Julian Mayorga didn’t understand why her son kept refusing to drink from his sippy cup. Then she sniffed it, and realized what was wrong: “Oh—he wants salt on the rim.” “It [...]

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Newsbreaks for Monday

18 June 2007

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Audio version is here. British police announced today that they had smashed a global pedophile ring. Well, that’s a relief—the Global Pedophile was the creepy real-life inspiration for comics’ Green Lantern. Child abuse stories are never pleasant, but the most disturbing thing about this one is that Canadians were involved. Sure, they seem nice… A [...]

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