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Archive | May, 2007
Newsbreaks for Thursday
Audio version is here. White House spokesman Tony Snow said yesterday that President Bush sees South Korea as a model for US involvement in Iraq. In other words, American soldiers stationed there for decades, with World War III possible at any moment. Snow called this policy “Uneasy Peace in Our Time.” “The President knows this [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Wednesday
30 May 2007
Audio version is here. The World Health Organization has announced that using a water pipe to smoke tobacco may be just as harmful as smoking cigarettes. This reverses the popular belief among American users, who never thought of using it to smoke tobacco. A New York pit bull with severe heart and lung problems has [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Tuesday
29 May 2007
Audio version is here. NASA announced today that its new space vehicle, the Orion, will be outfitted with a safety system. “If anything goes wrong with the flight,” a spokesman said, “the crew could activate a mission abort rocket that would propel them to safety.” That’s great; now if they could just invent one for [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Friday
26 May 2007
Audio version is here. Classes let out early today at an elementary school in Phoenix, after a corpse was found wedged in a heating vent above the cafeteria. “We’re just hoping our kids won’t develop psychological problems, like eating disorders,” said the school’s principal. “On the other hand, we won’t have to worry about obesity.” [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Thursday
25 May 2007
Audio version is here. Paul McCartney has unveiled the video for his latest song on YouTube. The song is called “Look What Happens When I Shove All These Mentos into a Pepsi Bottle.” Speaking at Cannes, director Martin Scorsese announced his next project: a film set in 17th Century Japan. “Two words,” Scorsese said. “DeNiro-san.” [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Wednesday
23 May 2007
Audio version is here. A study out of Great Britain claims that finger-length can reliably predict a child’s future scores on the SAT. Coming soon: “Baby Einstein” brand finger-stretchers. A joint American/Irish group of scientists have discovered that sharks can conceive and give birth without mating. “I was shocked by the findings,” said one researcher. [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Tuesday
23 May 2007
Audio version is here. A former administrator for the Smithsonian says that the museum altered an exhibit on global warming so as not to antagonize the Bush Administration. A spokeswoman for the White House called the story ridiculous., “This President would never go in a museum.” The exhibit was titled, “The Arctic: A Friend Acting [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks 5.21.07
22 May 2007
Audio version is here. Over the weekend, former President Jimmy Carter called the Bush Administration “the worst in history. Except,” Mr. Carter said, “when it comes to making me look good. They sure do that great.” The White House hit back, calling Carter “increasingly irrelevant.” A spokesman said, “Stick to building free houses for poor [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Friday
18 May 2007
Audio version is here. Treasure hunters announced today that they had found $500 million worth of treasure in a shipwreck in a secret location somewhere in the Atlantic. This could be the richest haul in history…or just another tie-in. After New York mayor Michael Bloomberg said that his city was being flooded by guns purchased [...]
Continue reading...Newsbreaks for Thursday
17 May 2007
Audio version is here. Japanese scientists have created a way to store words and symbols in the DNA of bacteria. This form of data storage would last as long as the species survives, even a million years. On the other hand, it gives new meaning to the phrase, “That book made me sick.” Clean-tech has [...]
Continue reading...At last! It's here!
For 30 years, Ravin fans wondered: What if Tom Larkin had survived? Now, the story can be told.
Mixing alternative history, hardboiled noir, parody and satire, Life After Death for Beginners is a must-read for every Beatles fan. "A cross between The Rutles and Three Days of the Condor. I loved it."—Jonathan Schwarz
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31 May 2007
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