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3/08: I'm in poor health, which limits my posting; MG addicts can check out my Beatles group blog, Hey Dullblog.


Jon calls this "a work of genius"--and I had to pay him almost nothing for the blurb. More mystery and mayhem in the Ivy League, mixing my world with real history to create something entertaining.


I've combed my archives to create this collection of my magazine humor. From The Yale Record to The New Yorker, the best of the pre-Barry years is in here.


My first non-parodic novel is now available! It's school like it ought to be: loud, eventful, and full of swearing!


I'm probably going to Hell for this C.S. Lewis spoof.


The ultimate Harry Potter parody. Three novels, 25 foreign editions, over a million copies sold--it's too much to list here, but you can read excerpts and buy the books at Barrytrotter.com!

Monday, May 8, 2006

We saw the letter!

According to The New York Times, Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has written President Bush a letter. Jon Schwarz and I have seen a copy of the letter which, frankly, blew us away. Ahmadinejad's reaching out represents a turning-point in the current stalemate between America and Iran, and will very likely spur a whole flurry of similar letters between world leaders. In yet another example of the blogosphere scooping the outdated, slow, accuracy-crazed mainstream media, I reprint the entire text below:

"Dear President Bush:
I am writing you on the advice of my therapist, who says I have alot of unresolved feelings towards your country. I have my doubts, but I want to show Dr. Gulzar that I'm committed to our therapy.

Iran and America ought to work together to reduce international tensions. I propose a simple trade: if you promise not to invade Iran, I promise to wear a tie. Of course, the choice of tie will be Iran's alone.

Since Dr. Gulzar is always telling me to 'speak my truth,' I want to tell you something. The goal of Iran's nuclear program is not a bomb. It is to make a working replica of the time-traveling car from Back to the Future. Have you ever seen that movie? Not everyone knows this, but there are three of them. If you want, I can loan them to you, but you have to PROMISE to give them back.

To achieve this dream, Iran requires two things: nuclear power, and a DeLorean. Could you keep your eyes open? I'm working Craigslist, but so far nothing. I'm sure you agree, there's really no point in doing it, if it's not authentic.

Respectfully,
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
PS--Do you know how I can get in touch with Christopher Lloyd?"

Comments on "We saw the letter!"

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:43 PM) : 

There'a a delorean parked in the driveway down the street from me with a "For Sale" sign. Want me to send you the number?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:46 PM) : 

Beautiful!!! PS Don't senda copy to Dubya, he'll think its real.

 

Blogger Mike Mariano said ... (4:15 PM) : 

Little does Ahmadinejad know, Christopher Lloyd got his nuclear material from the Libyans!

Who knew that Biff Tannen was part of the A.Q. Khan Terrorist Network?!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:20 PM) : 

Nice that Mr Achmed Dinnerjacket can face up to his own feelings.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (5:00 PM) : 

This is satire without satire.

 

Blogger sarcasmus said ... (10:35 PM) : 

I don't know why there aren't any comments on this...is google censoring this story? What a hell of a scoop. Keep up the good work. My blogger security word is jhfszou. That sounds like jehosophat with a little jihad stuck in somewhere.

 

Blogger hamesha: said ... (11:57 PM) : 

Good to know, but on my blog I was wondering if it was a much longer text and lead to quite congenial relations between the two leaders...

 

Anonymous Ania said ... (5:01 AM) : 

Hello!
Very impressive letter ;-) I wouldn't be surprised if G.W.B belived that ;-)
I am sorry if I offend anyone :-)
In Poland we also have ... interesting president. There is even a joke:
American and Polish soldiers meet in Iraq and they start to fight about their presidents. And American soldier says:
- Ok, we've got Bush but we also have Stevie Wonder, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope
Polish soldier thinks and says:
- Yes, we've got Kaczynski and ... no wonder no cash and no hope ...;-)

Besides : very fine website :-)

Regards from Poland once again!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (12:50 PM) : 

uhh... what? is this actually funny to anyone? I'm a fairly left-leaning guy but I fail to see how this is anything but stupid.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (3:39 PM) : 

um...even as a joke...this isn't very funny...
in fact, it's an egregious waste of time and energy.
If you're going to waste my time, at least be funny.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (2:57 PM) : 

This might be one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Well, since Colbert's keynote address at the White House Correspondent's Dinner.

Christopher Lloyd, where art thou?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (7:58 AM) : 

Thats good stuff my brother... How much a Iran will 1.21 jigawatts power?

jg

 

Anonymous Noah said ... (10:42 AM) : 

Can't he just get the nuclear power from the Libyans?

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (4:04 AM) : 

How do you get such stunningly accurate information about what I assume is confidential President to President correspondence. Up until now, I've always feared that Americans really were just a bunch of dumb rednecks and cowboys. Thank you for proving me wrong.
Ray
Melbourne
Australia

 

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